Learning Experience
by RealWorldWriter47
Summary: Renesmee is a sheltered girl, but when she's thrust into the high school world she can't help but change. Suddenly things are brand new, a love, a life, and finding who she is. Being a teenager is a little more complicated when the Cullen's are involved.
1. Milestones

**A/N: Okay, so after reading _Breaking Dawn_ I couldn't help but write this. Readers should know when looking at this story that I HATE Jacob Black (though I must admit my hatred is less after reading the last book) anyway, he will not be in this story. This means that I am ignoring a major component of the book. He does not exsist in this story, he will not cause me any grief. Alright, that being said, enjoy...oh I almost forgot;**

**DISCLAIMER: I am not nor will I ever be the writer of the awesome stories that are _Twilight_. I also do not feel the need to repeat this statement at the begining of every chapter, so this will have to do. I DONT OWN ANYTHING...except maybe the characters Mel and Julian...**

I combed through my curls only half paying attention. Today was the beginning of my junior year of high school, an experience that I was sure to repeat no matter how good my grades were. It was a mark of the Cullen family, my family. My mother hovered over me as if I were headed for a much different school, one with coloring and blocks instead of books and homework. After all I was technically still very young and this was my _first_ day of school. She smiled brightly, her eyes lit with the emotion that couldn't spill out from them. I was surprised that my aunts Alice or Rosalie weren't there, chattering excitedly about the milestone that was being reached and the outfit that I had chosen just for the occasion, I had picked it out especially to please them.

Whatever the reason for their absence, I was happy that it was just my mother and me. I turned my head to her and touched my lips to her cheek. I didn't have it in me to remind her that she had to get ready too; I wasn't the only one attending High School this year. We were in a new town, not where I had been born as that might have been a little bit difficult to explain. I still had ties to Forks though, in the form of my grandfather who was less than excited by my disappearance. My mother, Bella, also had trouble with the separation, but you had to be sensible if you wanted to belong to this family. Sacrifice was a word that had to be learned early, one of friends and for a long time, anything that involved the outdoors beyond our backyard.

My father appeared in the doorway now, I saw him through the mirror, and his lips were pulled down almost in a frown. I knew instantly what it was about. My dad had the most annoying ability to read minds, and mine was no exception, above everything else he hated the feeling that he was limiting me, though he could hardly be blamed for the precaution. I knew as well as anyone that things needed to be hidden for my family's safety and all those around us. I had been different since my birth, but now that my "growth spurt" was over, it was time for me to go out into the world. I thought this all very quickly, hoping to ease my dad's mind.

"Daddy" I said as I crossed to him, "It's alright"

Mom looked at us, confusion plain on her face as her eyes darted back and forth, yearning for the missing half of the conversation, but dad just shook his head. His hand brushed absently through my hair and his gaze fell to mine, but I doubted he was really looking, probably stuck in the past, whether mine or his own I didn't know. Mom was next to us now, and I touched my palm to her chilled skin, using the power I had held since my first breath to fill her in on the thoughts that had just moments ago run through my mind to explain his reaction. She closed her golden eyes that I had been told had once been the same color as mine and took in a breath I knew she didn't need. I left them alone then, sure that mom would soon either be talking in a voice too hushed for me to hear, or letting my dad see into her head for a few moments, in any case I didn't want to be there when it happened.

I took the steps two at a time, hopping to the floor when I still had a few left, because I was feeling impatient. I could hear Aunt Alice squealing excitedly to my uncle Jasper just a few feet a way, no doubt more excited about the start of my academic career than I was.

"Hey Nessie" she chirped as I sat down on the couch giving her a wary smile. My full name was rarely used in the house, only for very serious conversations. "What?" she continued, "Not excited?"

"Aunt Alice you know that I'm smarter than any of those kids"

She sat next to me and patted my knee, "Think of it as more of a social experiment"

I heard a bark of a laugh from the top of the stairs, and then came the voice of my uncle Emmett, "Not _too_ social kiddo" he was by my side in a second ruffling my hair.

"Let her have her fun" my other aunt, Rosalie, sang.

"Don't you dare have any sort of fun young lady" my dad mocked, I hadn't even realized he had entered the room, but his smile was fixed and it immediately made me smirk back.

The room was quickly becoming crowded as my mother and grandparents joined the group. I vaguely registered that to the outside world, the terms like mom, dad, grandma, and grandpa would be odd applied to such young people, and realized without being told that the roles would have to be changed to ones more along the lines of brother and sister, that my grandparents would have to become stepparents. Reading my mind, my father interrupted the steady conversation that had erupted to talk to my grandpa, Carlisle.

"There's no need for a conversation about the cover story" and as he said this I thought his tone sounded a twinge proud, "she's figured it own on her own"

Grandpa nodded, not seeming at all surprised, "Well then I guess you should be going"

I was passed around; hugged and rehugged as if they wouldn't be in the school with me, maybe even have the same classes. Then we made our way to the garage, and for one moment I thought that we would be taking my mother's Ferrari. I had been asking Dad for days if I could drive it. The car was about as old as I was, but still shiny and new looking as it had barely been touched since its purchase years ago. I ran my fingers longingly across the glossy paint, my eyes resting on the driver's seat. Dad chuckled, kissing the top of my head, leading me to his much less interesting car. I groaned, but it only managed to make him laugh more. Mom guessed my train of thought.

"I promise" she said quietly, "it will be yours…eventually"

"If _Dad_ ever lets me drive" I threw a pointed look at my father.

"When you're really sixteen then we can talk"

"talk" I huffed under my breath knowing that this so called "conversation" would be more like a monologue as to why I would never be allowed to go anywhere by myself, and an escort of an imposing family of vampires was hardly conducive to a normal life.

I slammed the door to his old Volvo a little harder then necessary. I had been told that my dad only kept the car for sentimental value, but it still held the appearance of a new car, well cared for. Mom reached for my hand from the front seat, and I took it, noticing as I always did when I touched a member of my family, the warmth of my own skin, part of the nature of being a half human, half vampire child.

My mother, father, and I had this car to ourselves, the rest of the family filing into their own vehicles. For the first time, the day seemed real, and I smiled as I thought of the adventure that lay ahead of me; not learning, I had the market cornered on that particular portion, but on the people that had been kept from me, those that could be my friends in a few short hours.


	2. Just a Hint of Things to Come

**A/N: Sorry it took so long, I was debating whether the story was worth posting, and obviously I decided it was. The next chapters should be quick as I already have the story completed. What else is there to say but I hope you enjoy it? Oh, and sorry about my verrrrrrry bad punctuation (there's no hope for me I'm afraid)!**

The hallway teemed with students as I pushed myself into it slipping past my family so that I could merge myself into the throng and not part the seas with stares and whispers

The hallway teemed with students as I pushed myself into it slipping past my family so that I could merge myself into the throng and not part the seas with stares and whispers. I still had my share of watchers, could see the smirks of some of the boys as I passed and tried not to blush. From the time that I was very small I had realized that I could charm my way into any circle, my smile burn through their heart, but I hadn't yet had the chance to try that talent on the opposite sex. I hated to think of what kind of comments I would get from the male members of my family, the immensely embarrassing conversations with my aunts and mom.

I caught some stares from the girls too, mostly envious, but some just friendly, pleasant. I found my locker without much problem and opened it to examine the inside. It was true there was no need for the space as I would be able to carry the weight easily on my back. I glanced around, a smile stuck to my face as though I wouldn't be able to brush it away. I didn't particularly want to. I was here, with people, normal, unburdened, teenagers who didn't have a clue that I wasn't exactly like them, that I had secrets, ones that no one would believe even if I did tell them.

"Hey new girl" there was a tap on my shoulder and I swung around quickly to see a girl standing behind me. Her dirty blonde hair had wave, and her tan gave the appearance of someone who spent a large amount of time at the beach.

"Hi" I said brightly, slamming the locker door shut and turning my attention fully on her.

"Mel" she said simply and then added, "My name- well actually Melanie but…who needs the extra syllables?"

"Nessie" I said automatically, cursing myself for giving out the now childish sounding nickname.

She deliberated for a second and my mind raced as I tried to figure out her thought process, but then she said, "so Nessa-" and paused, waiting for me to argue with her amendment, when I didn't she continued, "what brings you to this hell hole?"

"I'm guessing you don't like the school?"

"Psh, what's not to like?" she gestured to the walls which I now noticed held the tiniest hint of mold.

"I see your point"

"Doesn't take long does it?"

"Guess no-" I was cut off as my gaze fell to a group of boys across the hall. They were standing loosely together and there eyes were unmistakably on me. Most were average looking, even with my limited knowledge of the High School world I could tell that, but there were a few of them who I couldn't turn away from.

One of them had dark eyes, so black that I couldn't help but wonder what secrets they held. Could he be wondering the same about me? Did I hold a mystery too? Though I had never wished it before, I did now, hoped that there was some intriguing quality that I held, besides the ones that I could never in a million years hope of telling. He caught me looking and suddenly seemed very interested in the floor. Despite this, he didn't exactly look apologetic or embarrassed, and that gave me hope.

"You can't be surprised" Melanie interrupted my thought process, "You _are_ gorgeous, they're gonna stare"

I shook my head, partly to show my disagreement with what she had said, and the other to get rid of the image of my dark eyed admirer. Mel and I parted as I made my way to my first class, hardly interested in anything I could have learned anymore. I wasn't even entirely sure what subject I was in until I turned my head to see Aunt Alice scrutinizing my expression with far too much intensity for my liking. She took a piece of paper from her desk and handed it to me with one simple line written in her script.

**What's going on?**

Had I been that transparent, oh well I couldn't let her know what was really on my mind. I was grateful that all of my classes were free from my mind reading father.

**Nothing, just nerves **

She didn't seem to buy my excuse, her golden eyes focused as if attempting to see straight through me. I wouldn't put it past her. Aside from the handing out of the supply list and syllabus, there was nothing to focus on, nothing except my sudden and undeniable attraction to a boy I had never spoken to in my life, one that never the less had managed to distract me almost to the point of coma. Every time I would pull my attention to the board in front, or the even the chatter floating quietly from the back, my mind would find a way back to him. It was funny that from birth all I wanted was to be free from secrecy, and in that one moment without any conscious choice, I had decided to immerse myself in it. But did he really notice me? Had the silent conversation that had passed between us been completely one sided?

And then a ridiculous question popped into my head, ridiculous because the very thing I was doubting was ever present in my life, did I believe in love at first sight? But then, I couldn't be in _love_. It was a word that despite the beauty I supposedly possessed, the compassion that I felt for people, would never be mine. I was different, too different to find anyone that could possibly feel that way for me. I had come to the conclusion a while ago that I would have to make due with the love that came from my family, and I had been okay with that, but with this new possibility I wasn't sure anymore.

I was too lost in thought to notice as the bell rang, dismissing us from the room, and didn't come back to reality until my aunt grabbed my arm and dragged me out the door.

"What's going on with you?" she demanded in a low whisper that I could barely hear over the roar of students spilling out from their classrooms.

"I'm not sure" was all I could manage.


	3. Invitations and overeactions

"Hey, Nessa!" Mel came up to us then, her eyes appraising my aunt before turning her attention to me. She gabbed like we were old friends, "Ok, so I was just in math class and, ya know, no one ever pays attention to math, so Matt was talking about how he was gonna throw this completely awesome party at his house. I don't know how awesome it's really gonna be, Matt tends to exaggerate, but I asked if I could invite you anyway. He saw you ya know, thought you were totally hot"

She paused to catch her breath, but I couldn't think of anything to say. It was my first day of school, wasn't it supposed to take awhile to get invited anywhere? All of the sudden I was, I guess, popular, and someone actually thought I was… hot. I blushed a little at the thought, but not enough for Melanie to notice. I looked at Aunt Alice, and though she smiled I could see a little strain behind the action. I wondered if this was because she couldn't see how the party would go, or because she was concerned about how quickly this new milestone had come. I was too caught up in her expression that at first I didn't notice that Mel had started talking again.

"So he said yes. Hey, Ness, who's this?" her eyes fell again to my aunt, but the realization that she had asked a question came too slowly and she beat me to the introduction,

"I'm Ness's sister, Alice"

"Oh" if Mel was taken aback, it was nothing compared to her expression when Uncle Jasper came up behind her. Her eyes nearly popped out of her head and I had to tell her to shut her mouth. It was hanging open too long for even the slowest of people not to notice, and my aunt and uncle were certainly not the slowest of people. I took her arm and led her away, smiling apologetically to my family as I went.

"What do they feed you at your house?" she choked out when she had regained her senses.

"Excuse me?"

"My God Ness, have you seen your family?"

I laughed a little. I guessed I would have to get used to this reaction to my family. To the outside world I supposed that my relatives were extraordinary. I chanced a glance back at them, but they were lost in some silent conversation. Or maybe it wasn't silent, just too low to hear. I wondered if they would tell my parents before I had the chance to form a good argument, but I didn't think that Aunt Alice would do that, not unless she thought it would hurt me, and how could this hurt me?

I had English class with Mel, but when the bell rang for lunch I found myself heading for the parking lot. I had no interest in eating human food, especially not from a cafeteria that seemed less than sanitary. I opened the Volvo and climbed inside, ignoring the heat that had accumulated, making the air around me stuffy.

I stretched across the back seat and let my mind wander. How different it would be to stop that. Hiding things was not my forte, and I had never in my wildest dreams imagined that one day in high school would change that. I let my eyes close for a minute, just so his face could come to me, the boy I had only seen for a second popped into my head as well formed as though he were there with me. His dark eyes held mine for a moment and my breath caught. My eyes flashed open and I smiled as I realized that his image didn't fade, in fact, his lips were so close to mine that I could feel the faint breaths escaping from them. I suddenly wanted his mouth to touch at my skin, but with a jolt I came back to reality, a reality that told me that my fantasy could never be, whether because of the fact that I was "special" or that more than one member of my family would destroy him before he could get within five feet of me.

So my thoughts _had_ to be secret, for his sake, for the sake of my sanity. I shook my head, dislodging the tears that had begun to form. I would be a hermit for the rest of my life. How would I survive confined in that house for however long my life would be? It wasn't fair that my family could have their soul mates, when I was left with no one. Would they ever let me go? And even if they did, who would have me, the freak that never aged without even the excuse of abnormally cold skin or still heart?

I banged my head against the head rest of the front seat. I was hoping to knock away my thoughts, but all it managed to do was give me a head ache, so I settled on counting the bricks on the building and multiplying them by twelve. It was an annoying task to say the least, but it worked, and I was amazingly grateful when my mother and father came into the car. Mom had me in a hug as soon as she had made it to her seat,

"How was your day?"

"Almost perfect mom"

"Why didn't we see you at lunch?" my dad asked, already pulling out of the parking lot. I hadn't realized how late it had gotten. I'd skipped my last class without even meaning to.

"Got distracted" I answered simply.

The rest of the ride were the standard questions, did you make any friends? How were your classes? Did you like your teachers? All of which I answered with as few words as possible. In truth, there were very few things I had noticed about the day. The whirlwind that had taken over immediately after I stepped in the door seemed to override all the details. All of them except one, I was invited to a party, and one way or another I was going to have to tell them.

"My friend" I started, best to come right out with it, "the one I just told you about, she actually invited me somewhere"

"Somewhere?" Dad asked, instantly on edge. My mom put a hand on his arm.

"Yeah well, to a house"

"Her house?" mom's tone was careful. She wanted to give me the benefit of the doubt without actually saying yes.

"Well, it's her friend's house"

"Oh, did you meet her?"

"Actually, it's a him"

My dad's foot slammed against the break so hard that I lurched forward a little, and I guessed by the screech of the tires that my answer was definitely a no.

**Bum bum bum... It starts to get more interesting after this I promise. Please review, thank you.**


	4. Insults, Angst, and new found respect

**A/N: And thus begins a bit of teenage angst.**

He pulled to the side of the road, his fingers gripped tight around the steering wheel. Mom kept her eyes on me, though one hand still lay against Dad's arm. Her eyes told me what she didn't say, to keep calm that it would be alright. She knew my father's temper as well as anyone. She used to tell me that he only got mad when he was trying to keep someone he loved safe, but up until this moment he had never had occasion to do that for me. I had a feeling I was about to get a lifetimes worth.

"_Please_ tell me you did not just say that" he said through clenched teeth. Now that the car was stopped he had his fingers pinched at the bridge of his nose.

"Say what Daddy?" I decided that if I played dumb he couldn't be that mad at me…could he?

He knew what I was doing, "you're a little girl, you shouldn't even be thinking about…" he didn't seem to be able to finish.

"Thinking about what Dad? I was invited to a party, that's it."

He changed tact, "why were you blocking your thoughts then?"

"Maybe I don't want you to know every single detail in my head"

"What would you have to hide?"

"Oh I don't know, how much of an ass my father is"

"Reneesme" my mother interjected, throwing me a stern look.

"Don't worry about it Bella, obviously she has no idea of the dangers in this world that I protect her from"

"_Protect me_, you lock me away!"

"Maybe that's because you're not mature enough to handle them"

"How will I know until I try?"

"And how can I let you?!"

"What makes you think I'm giving you a choice?"

I shoved the door open and stepped onto the grass, walking as fast as I could away from the Volvo. Not fast enough though. Mom caught up to me, towing me back silently but forcefully. We didn't speak for the rest of the day.

_(BPOV)_

I sat on the edge of the bed watching Edward pace back and forth across the floor. I was surprised he hadn't already worn a hole in the carpet. His eyes were dark with anger. More for himself than for our daughter I guessed. I focused on Reneesme now, her quiet breathing across the hall. She had been crying, and that was the worst torture imaginable. Not only did I have to deal with the fact that she was hurting, but I had to watch as Edward blamed himself for her emotions. It was too hard to explain to him that this was a girl thing, too hard to explain anything to him in that moment. That's when his trek across the room had begun. The silence was so crushing that I thought about breaking it, but to my surprise, he beat me to it.

"Why Bella? She's just a girl"

"She's a teenager" I corrected.

"Maybe to the eye"

"Not just the eye Edward, emotionally too, she's ready to be an adult"

"What can we do?"

"We can watch her make mistakes, and be there when she needs us"

"What if I can't do that? What if I can't watch her get hurt?"

"Not letting her will only make it worse, she'll find a way whether you 'let' her or not"

I crossed over to him and he wrapped his arms around my waist. He buried his head in my hair and breathed for a few minutes before speaking,

"Bella"

"Mhm?"

"She's not going to that party"

I sighed. I couldn't blame him, I felt the same way. How could this girl who had seemed so young not that long ago be old enough to be going to a high school party. It wasn't fair, not to her, not to us. Didn't she deserve to be a child for a little longer, and wasn't it our job to make sure she could do that?

"Alright" I breathed.

His fingers met my chin and lifted it up so that he could look into my eyes. I stretched on my toes to kiss him. As soon as he broke it I laid my head back on his chest.

"Bella?" he asked after a few minutes.

"Yes?"

"I suddenly have a new found respect for Charlie"

I laughed.

**A/N: Ahh new found respect...I know she insulted Edward, sorry, but I guess its different with him being her father.**


	5. A little flirting and a worried father

**A/N: Haha, just a little bit more about this mysterious boy (who still doesnt have a name, sorry) **

The rest of the week passed much the same way. I barely spoke to either of my parents, an issue they didn't try to press. Mel was a constant source of entertainment. She was certainly more "worldly" then I ever would be. She had taken and thrown away more boyfriends in her relatively short life…in any case she didn't think much of my mom and dad's refusal to let me go to the party.

"So, big deal, I'll sneak you out"

"You say that like its possible"

"And you say _that_ like I don't know what I'm doing"

Obviously she didn't know my family. I could only picture what my father would do if he ever found out, which he would, he had ways; which made me wonder if he knew about my "crush", but the fact that the boy was still alive was proof that he didn't. Still though all we had done was look at each other from across a hallway, and I was getting bored. Why wouldn't he come up to me already?! Maybe it was the fact that I never seemed to be alone, whether in the company of my aunts and uncles or my best friend. His eyes didn't stop locking to mine though, and that was enough incentive to keep searching for him.

"Why don't you just go up to him?" Mel had asked one day when I was particularly distracted.

"Because the staring contest is so much more interesting" I had answered sarcastically.

But on Friday, with the party only hours away, I couldn't come up with any more excuses to put off the introduction. With my already fluttering heart pounding against my chest I made my approach. The closer I got the more mysterious he looked, but I wasn't sure if that was just my imagination. His stance was relaxed, confident. His dark brown hair was brushed up against his eyes and the smile that twisted his lips suggested an ever constant inside joke. He was talking to his friends, but the conversation stopped as I drew closer. He stepped away from his position against the wall and over to me.

"Nice to see you finally crossed the pond" he said.

"Nice to see I'm a welcome visitor"

"Someone as pretty as you, always"

I fought against the blush that threatened to pool, "So you don't travel much?"

"What?"

"I've been waiting all this week"

He laughed a little, "Had to see if you were brave enough"

"Uhuh, just make sure you're the one to make the next move"

"Noted, so what is the next move?"

I shrugged, and it took all the strength I had to turn away from him and back to where Mel was waiting with a triumphant smile on her lips. I was halfway there when he called,

"Hey, you coming to the party tonight?"

I bit my lip to fight off a smile, "Nice move" I called back.

There was a pause, "wait, are you?"

"I'm brave enough aren't I?"

_(EPOV)_

I knew I shouldn't, everything in me told me not to listen to the conversation, not to see it in her thoughts, but I couldn't stop. She tried to conceal it, to focus all her thoughts on her new found dislike for me, but she couldn't. Worse still, Jasper told me how happy he made her, and she didn't even know his name! Of course for everyone's sanity I had to feign indifference, had to pretend like the sound of _his _voice in Nessie's head didn't make me cringe.

I kept replaying their encounter in my mind, and the only thought that could come to me, though I did my best to fight it off, was how did she learn to…flirt? there was no other word for it. I had been under the impression that I only had to worry about what _they _wanted; the one's that pursued her, but what if the one I had to fight was my own daughter. I had dealt with her accelerated aging since her birth, had prepared myself for what I had assumed was every possibility, even her death, which would of course lead to my own. The one thing I had not gone over was the emotions that flowed through her.

The one thing she wanted was the one thing that I was not willing to give her. She wanted freedom, she wanted _him_. I was over 100 years old when I found the love of my existence, and she, she was only seven. It was a ridiculous number, one that made me sick to think about. And then my mind ran over the distinct possibility that this "love" would not be like that which her mother and I shared. Teenagers generally didn't find their soul mates. It was a messy affair, and the suffering…I had promised myself that she would never suffer.

Bella tried to calm me, to tell me that Nessie would be fine, but I knew that everyone I ever loved ended up getting hurt. As much as she tried to deny it, to assuage my guilt, Bella had been hurt so much while she was human, and I couldn't help but feel that the cycle was repeating, in a different way yes, but still very much out of my control.

"Edward" it was Bella that broke me from my reverie, her palm pressed against the side of my face.

"Yes love?" I strained to keep my voice calm.

"You've been sitting in the driveway for 20 minutes now"

I guess I wasn't fooling anyone.

**A/N: I decided to do Edward's point of few for the last part. I had fun with it, but feel free to tell me your thoughts. **


	6. Convincing

**A/N: sorry it took so long, my computer kinda crashed, but here it is, the chapter that is only the begining of the chaos.**

I watched my dad's Volvo from my window. It struck me as odd that he hadn't moved, but that meant that he was distracted which worked well for me. I needed to go to the party now, now that he was waiting for me. It seemed a little ridiculous that I didn't even know his name, but the interest was obviously there, and that was enough. I had picked out a skirt for the occasion, the kind that my father would not approve of. I wasn't doing much my Dad would approve of these days. The fabric clung to what little of my thigh it covered, and my shirt was strapless. Without consciously thinking about I had dressed like, well, a bit of a slut. They couldn't blame me though; Aunt Alice had bought the majority of the clothes in my closet.

I took the stairs three at a time, flinging myself around the banister and into the living room, where I found my targets. Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rosalie sat on the couch. She was curled into his lap as they watched whatever program was on the T.V. I sat down on the cushion next to them.

"Hey kiddo" Uncle Emmett looked over, his hand automatically ruffling my hair.

Aunt Rosalie gave me an appraising look before her lips twisted into a smirk. "You're up to something" she guessed.

"Not really" I pouted, knowing that if anything would win my case, it would be that. "I'm just trying to be a normal teenager"

"Oh" she said, "you are anything but normal"

"C'mon Aunt Rose, I just wanna have a little fun"

She laughed, "Did I say no"

"What did I just get myself dragged into?" my uncle groaned.

"Nothing" I said, my win sinking in, "unless you wanna make me the happiest niece on the face of the earth"

And he was hooked, "well, you are a kid"

I wrapped my arms around him, and the plan began. Uncle Emmett would distract my parents while Aunt Rose drove me to the party, "how are you planning on getting their attention?" she asked.

He smiled, "just an arm wrestling match or two"

"Those poor rocks" I muttered.

"Don't worry about them, just have fun, and don't do anything I would have to go kill someone for ok?"

"Wouldn't want to have to deal with that…again" Aunt Rose joked.

My uncle bent to wrap his arms around me, and then I was flung through the air, feet almost a foot off the ground. He set me down and I stumbled back to the couch so that he could set his distraction plan into action. He wrenched open the door, "hey Bella" I heard, "I have a new strategy"

And when they were safely occupied we made our bid for escape. I was careful to keep my thoughts calm, just in case Dad didn't find the match interesting enough, but my heart gave away how excited I was. For the first time in my life no one would be standing behind me, prying me away from anything the least bit interesting.

Aunt Rose of course drove faster than the speed of most car chases, and we pulled up to the curb of Matt's house in record time. Her hand found mine, "Ok, just give me a call when you want to come home, or" she amended as she saw my expression, "when it gets so late that you have no choice"

"Will do" I moved to get out of the car, but her hand caught me again,

"Hey, for all our sakes remember, that just because you can doesn't mean you should"

"What?"

"You know what I mean, I don't need to be killed by your father, and neither do you"

"I'll keep that in mind" I said under my breath as she drove away.

_(EPOV)_

"Emmett, stop this, what's going on?"

"Nothing, just trying to spend some quality time with you guys, you know I don't know what you and Bella do with all that free time, but it seems like I never see you anymore"

I knew without looking that Bella was embarrassed, and by the sound of the slap that came a few seconds later, she got her revenge.

"Emmett, I think we've played enough" Bella said, "I'm going inside"

"Who am I to stop you?" he said shrugging his shoulders, I could hear Rosalie coming up the driveway and understood that this sudden dismissal when he had been so concerned that we stay, was due to the fact that she was back.

I took Bella's hand as we made our way inside and to our bedroom. She sat down heavily and feigned exhaustion, fanning her hand in front of her face dramatically.

"Oh to be forever young, the lack of exhaustion certainly comes in handy" she motioned for me to sit down, but I was barely paying attention. I had just noticed how quiet the house was, whose thoughts were missing.

"Reneesme" I said through my teeth, and she immediately understood.


	7. The Trouble Begins

**A/N: Here's part one of the party, though I must admit I find the 2nd part more interesting....ah well, here it goes. **

I didn't bother to ring the bell. From the sound of the blaring music inside I doubted anyone would hear me. So when I shoved the door open my eyes went wide. To my right in what I assumed was the living room was a mob of people. I guess you could say they were dancing, if your definition of dancing is to see how close you can come to having sex without actually taking your clothes off. Most of the guests were in there, but there were some that lingered in the hallway, pressed up against the wall and talking in hushed voices. I walked past them. I didn't know where to start looking, but I had to find him. My trail soon led to the backyard, empty except for a few couples who lounged on the grass drinking what I seriously doubted was punch.

I was about to turn back and try to find Mel when I felt a hand pressed against my shoulder. I swiveled, and couldn't help the smile that spread its way across my face as I took him in. the moon was reflected in his eyes so that a stream of silvery light clouded my vision momentarily. Not enough so that I didn't see his lips though, curved so perfectly as if they were meant to hold my own. Now they were forming words, and I almost forgot that I had to listen to them and not just watch the even parting of his mouth.

"I've been looking for you" he said, smirking.

"I'm surprised you didn't get wrapped up in all the festivities"

"They wouldn't be interesting without you"

"and now that I'm here, what have you got set up?"

"Ah" his hand moved to the small of my back and he gently led me toward the doors to the kitchen, "Now that milady begins with a drink that is of course if you're up to it" he raised his eyebrows at me.

I gave a weak smile, hoping it didn't portray how sheltered I really was, "wouldn't want to spoil the plan"

He seemed to notice the nervousness in my voice, "don't worry, I'll keep you from making a fool of yourself"

"I resent that sir, and anyway, who's going to protect you?"

"I'm a veteran of Matt's parties, I know my limit"

By this time we had reached the counter, and the red cups seemed oddly inviting now that they were actually tangible. Maybe my only fear had come from the fact that I was worried of family backlash, but I trusted him, and grabbed one of the drinks already lined up. He laughed as I took a sip and wrinkled my nose at whatever poisons had been added, but the second sip was easier, and the third…

"And what's next?" I asked between gulps

He took my hand, going ahead of me until we reached the "dance floor" the music pulsed against the walls, rumbled at our feet. Still, I didn't quite know how to do this, and being humiliated wasn't on my list of things to do for the day. But he just smiled, letting his hand slip to my waist and coming close enough for me to be able to feel the heat of his skin, the evenness of his breath.

"You don't get out much do you?"

"I was waiting"

"What for?"

"Well nothing would be interesting without you"

As I said this I felt his fingers trailing to my thigh, sending shivers down my spine.

_(EPOV)_

"Where the hell is she?!" I knew where, but I needed to hear it from their mouths, to know without doubt that they had a hand in allowing her to disobey me. Did they have any idea what kind of trouble she could get into without us there to protect her? Had they forgotten that Alice couldn't see her? If she was hurt, if she was with _him…_

It was Rosalie who answered, "Relax Edward, I told her to call me if she wanted to come home-"

"_If?" _the word came out in a growl.

"Edward, what can happen-"

"What can Emmett? What _can't? _She's alone, she's never been alone"

Rosalie spoke up again and I fought the urge to attack her, "exactly, you know what happens when you lock kids up, when they're finally free they go crazy, better to save her from that:"

Bella stood at my side, and her calm drove me insane. How could she keep her breathing even, stand here and not launch herself at the people who were responsible for the fact that our daughter was out in the middle of the night with who knew what kind of people. I'd heard the thoughts of the general high school congregation; they were not to be trusted.

"Tell me where you took her or so help me…" I said through my teeth.

"Edward" Bella warned.

"C'mon Edward, she's a good kid" Emmett said, not yet realizing that I was not in a mood to be reasoned with.

"I don't give a damn how good she is, she used you to disobey me, and I will know where you took her"

Rosalie put a hand on Emmett's chest, finally coming to the conclusion that any further delay would only serve to feed my insanity. She gave me the address through her thoughts and I was in the Volvo before another word could be spoken, my foot slammed against the gas pedal.


	8. A moment ruined

**A/N: For those of you who were depressed by the length of my last chapter, I assure you this one is longer. It also just might be my favorite chapter...**

His touch was electric. I felt like I would catch flame any second if his fingers continued their slow work across my skin. All the while his eyes held to me thoroughly, not even when we were bumped into (which was inevitable) did they jerk away. My mind didn't seem to be working, pure bliss clogging its functions. And then the bliss came to an end as he held me at arms length, stepping away into the hall. He motioned for me to follow, and very slowly he made his way up to the second story, me at his heels. We passed exhausted party goers as we climbed, slumped over from too much of the poisonous concoction. I still had my drink with me, careful not to drink the whole thing. However keen my aunt and uncle were on giving me freedom I doubted they would appreciate having to deal with me in a drunken stupor. We were on the second floor now, and the screeches from the level below were muffled. His hands caught a doorknob and twisted it until the door opened to reveal a room that obviously belonged to a male.

I stepped in, but my tone was cautious, "what's the point of this excursion?"

He shrugged, "it's really loud down there" and closed the door. Without thinking I sat down on the bed, and then rethought my position, jolting up.

"I'm not sure it's a good idea being alone with you" I said truthfully, blushing at how much of a good girl I sounded.

"Relax pretty girl" he held up his hands as if in surrender, "no lines'll be crossed"

"Don't you wanna know my name?" I asked, more confident now, as I came closer to him.

His hand held my face, "It's impossible not to know your name Nessa, everyone's been talking about you"

Shock must have been plain on my face, "why didn't you tell me?"

"That was your move to make"

"And when do you plan on making yours?"

He deliberated for a second before whispering, "Now"

His lips crushed down on mine with surprising force, and my breath caught, but I wasn't about to be outdone. I twisted myself so that I conformed to him, and let my hands snake their way down his chest. They made their way to the bottom of his shirt, moving up it with a surge of confidence. My movement seemed to embolden him, and he broke the kiss only to place his lips at my neck. My clothes suddenly seemed too confining, shielding too much of myself from him. I pulled at my shirt but his hands were suddenly there, restraining.

"Hey" he breathed into my ear, "I have a promise to keep"

I was confused, frustrated that he was ruining the moment, "what promise?"

He laughed a little, "the one I made to you about 30 seconds ago"

It already seemed like a lifetime, "changed my mind"

"Easily swayed?"

"Persuaded is more like it"

"So you're sure?"

"Positive"

Without warning his hands tore off my shirt, which flew to somewhere in the room, I didn't care much anymore. I wasn't so concerned with his shirt as his jeans so my hands worked at the button that held them securely to his waist. I managed to get it undone despite the nervous energy that seemed to make my limbs quake. He backed up, letting the cloth slide down his skin until it was almost completely off, and as he fell back on to the bed with me still held in his arms he kicked them.

My lips moved against his chest (he had managed to take his shirt off) and one of his hands moved from my neck downward. Despite how engrossed I was in what I was doing, my eyes found his. They seemed alight, sparkling despite the general darkness of the room. I moved my lips back to his, but instead of a kiss, his teeth seized my bottom lip. When he released me I bit at his neck and I heard his breath hitch.

Nothing could have stopped us, broken us apart, except of course for the deafening slam of the door that sent me rolling to the floor. My eyes went wide with absolute horror as I saw my dad standing in the door frame, looking absolutely terrifying. In the time it took for me to blink he had crossed the room and he was stood towering over the boy who had just single handedly given me the best moment of my short life. Words seemed to have escaped my usually eloquent father as he slammed the boy against the wall, hard enough so that a crowd formed at the room's entrance. I saw his hand reach for his neck, and I wasn't sure whether he had enough self control in this moment to realize what his strength could do.

I ran over to them and tugged against my dad's arm, "Daddy no!" I screamed, tears filling my eyes as I plead, "_please_"

His head snapped over to me, and too quickly I realized that I was embarrassingly shirtless. His eyes closed and he took a deep breath, a good sign, but that didn't mean I could trust him enough to go hunting for my all too forgotten shirt. And then his hand was gripped around my upper arm and he towed me out into the hall. There was no point in arguing, but I turned my head for what might very well be my last look at the boy that had brought a new meaning to my life.

He looked shocked to say the least, but it was more than that, like he was losing something important to him. I mouthed my goodbye, but then he was running down the steps toward me, and I reached my free hand to him. He didn't take it, but he did shout three words, three words that would have meant nothing to most people, but sent my heart flying deep in my chest.

"My name's Julian" and then the door closed with such finality that it must have been the end.

**A/N: Just to let you know, yes Nessa had her shirt off when Edward came in, but she had a bra on. I am not that sick, that would be a very odd moment. So yeah, I dont know if anyone was thinking that, but just to cover all the bases.... thanks for reading.**


	9. Conversation

**A/N: Oh shiznat, I hadn't realized this chapter was so short. Sorry. I should post again soon, and this chapter is just the conversation after the drama of before.**

Dad let my door slam and was on the driver's side in less time than it took to wipe away my tears. Most of the party's guests had flooded out to the front lawn to watch my departure. It must have been an interesting sight to see, maybe even funny, if you weren't the one involved of course. The blush still hadn't receded from my cheeks and my eyes were still blurred from how quickly my world had changed.

"Daddy-" I tried

"Don't" his eyes were fixed on the road ahead.

"I didn't plan it Daddy, but I wasn't thinking…"

He turned to me but quickly turned away, his lip curled back in disgust. "I can't talk to you like that" he hissed through his teeth.

"I'm sorry" it came out as a sort of squeak. I kept my head down but when I next looked up he was holding his shirt out to me. I put it on without a word.

"I thought we raised you to have some sense" he said almost too quietly for me to hear.

"You did, I-"

"Do _not_ try to tell me that you were being sensible, you have no idea how worried we were, and then for me to come in and find you like _that_…" he trailed off, lost in his thoughts.

"I'm older than you think I am" I said, a touch indignantly.

"_Older?_ How old are you Reneesme? Whether 7 or 16, you are a child, _my_ child, and you will act like it"

"Dad all those kids in there were acting just like me and their my age"

"Damn it, you are even more senseless than I thought. Do you think I care about the rest of them? You are smarter than them, or at least I thought you were"

"I am Daddy"

"Really? How much did you have to drink tonight Reneesme, don't try to lie, I can smell it"

"Not that much…"

"Enough to impede your judgment?"

"No, of course not"

"So you made that choice on your own then"

It was silent for a moment, until I couldn't help explaining myself, "it wasn't hurting anyone Dad"

"Do you think he'll stay then, when you don't age, and he gets older and older, or if your novelty wears off?"

"You would have"

"I'm over 100 years old, our perspectives are different"

"Yeah, but what if he's in love, what if I'm in love?"

His voice was louder than I expected it would be, so that I jumped a little in my seat, "you are not in love with him, you didn't even know his name!"

"Who are you to say? You don't know me"

"Who knows you better? Tell me that"

"I don't need someone to tell me how I feel; I can figure that out on my own!"

"Not when you make choices like you did back there you can't"

"I can do whatever the _hell_ I want!"

"Not while it's my job to protect you"

"It's not"

"Who else will? It's not as if you can do it for yourself"

"Julian" I let the name sink in, watched his expression grow dark.

"He cannot protect you, he will not protect you" even his whisper was menacing.

"He'll find a way, even if you won't let him"

"And how do you suppose he'll do that?" his tone was mocking.

"He's not afraid of you" I whispered.

"He should be"

We were pulling into the driveway now, and I opened the car while it was still moving.

I almost ran into the house, ignoring the queue of people at the door and heading straight for my room. I was just about to slam the door when I heard my dad say,

"We can't stay here"

And I let a sob claw up my throat.


	10. Learning to Accept

**_A/N: Ummm this is also a relatively short chapter, but its a moment between Bella and Edward so... anywho, here it goes. _**

_(BPOV)_

"Edward, everyone is fine, you really should relax"

He turned to me, his eyes ablaze with the fury that I could tell he was desperately trying to keep in check. He didn't want to snap at me, but honestly if our rug was going to survive, he needed to stop his now well worn trek against it.

"I'm glad you're fine" he said through his teeth, but all the same he sat down next to me. I put my hand on his and pressed my lips against his skin. He seemed to relax under my touch and I heard him inhale.

"You did what you could" I whispered. My fingers traced across his face, hoping to soothe him as he had done so many times with me.

"Why is she doing this to us?"

I laughed, and he turned his gaze on me, incredulous. "wasn't it you who told me about a bout of teenage rebellion?" the memories were fuzzy now that I no longer belonged to that world, but my effort to remember my time with Edward had been successful.

"I suppose I did"

"At least she's not killing people" my attempt to lighten the mood didn't work; Edward's eyes were still dark with that stubborn twinge of worry. I brushed my lips across the bridge of his nose, down to his chin, and back to his mouth.

"How do we fix this?" his voice was far away, despite my attempts to bring him back to the present.

"Well, delving through her memories isn't going to help; you don't want to see that."

"She didn't even know his name Bella. She was with him and she didn't even know his name"

"Would it really have made you feel better if she had?" he didn't answer, but I knew without words that the answer was no.

We sat in silence for a moment. I knew without a doubt that he was regretting his decision to ever send her to school, a decision that despite my worry I had agreed whole heartedly with. As hard as it was to sit back and watch this, as difficult as the change had been and would be, I still didn't have regrets. How was she supposed to grow if we didn't let her? I only wished that it didn't involve sending her out into the world blindly, with an idealistic vision of love, and a little to much trust. That was the daughter we had raised, one who let people in without a second thought, who was a complete stranger to the dangers that disguised themselves as fun.

I got up slowly, making my way to Nessie's room without much thought as to what I would say. It was true that I had had some experience with a disapproving father, but he had never dragged me from a party as I was about to make one of the biggest decisions of my life. I knocked once, letting the door open a crack and calling her name softly. She was curled onto the bed, her knees balled against her chest, her face stained with tear tracks. I sat down on the edge, bringing her into my arms with such ease that I was sure she barely even felt it. My fingers stroked through her hair.

"Do you hate me?" she asked in a voice muffled by her crying. The words stung my still heart.

"No, of course not"

"Does he?" I knew who she was talking about without asking.

"Never, it's not possible"

"But he was so angry" she buried her head into my shoulder and it was all I could do not to cry with her, to keep my voice even.

"He loves you, so much, and when he gets scared he doesn't know what else to do but be angry. He could never stop loving you Nessie, no matter what happens"

"I wouldn't have done that Mom, not if I didn't know that he loves me" she choked out before another round of sobs.

"Shh, I know" I held her tighter still, "it's hard being a teenager" she nodded, and I couldn't help but laugh.

We stayed like that until I felt her breathing slow, and looked to see that her eyes were closed. Gently I laid her back against the pillows. When I turned back, Edward was at the doorframe, his eyes downcast to our sleeping daughter. His expression lacked the anger I had seen just a short time before, but there was something new in his eyes, something like complete disbelief.

"What?" I whispered as we made our way into the hallway. His hand was at my side, holding me to him.

"How could she think that I could ever hate her?"

I sighed, "You're trying to make sense of the mind of a teenage girl, it makes about as much sense as Japanese"

"I know Japanese" and I couldn't tell whether this was truth or sarcasm so I let it pass.

"In any case, she loves you Edward, more than you probably think right now"

"The question is, does she love him more?"

"It's not the same" that question was not the type you could apply a yes or no to.

"Who would she choose Bella?"

"If we do our jobs right, she wont have to"


	11. The trouble continues

**A/N: The trouble continues...you shall soon see. **

My throat was still hoarse from the night before, and I dressed silently. I was torn between my desire, need, whatever it was, for Julian and the love I knew I couldn't escape for my father. We had always been a close family, we needed to be. I had never once questioned the bond I had formed with them, my parents and everyone else, they were a part of me, and no amount of desire could change that. Still though, it raised questions about what the rest of my inevitably long life would be like. When Julian was just an idea, a long shot, it was easy to toy with the idea of giving him up, but now that I had actually talked to him, touched him, kissed him, it was agonizing to say goodbye. My mother understood though, or as best she could. I didn't know what good that would do in the end, but at least it was a glimmer of hope. If anyone could talk sense into Dad it would be her.

I looked down at my outfit, barely seeing it. Honestly, I didn't even know whether I would be going to school. I half expected Aunt Alice to come bouncing in my room and start packing up my extensive wardrobe. It was quiet in the house though, which meant very little in a house full of vampires. I crossed to my window, and couldn't stop myself from wondering how far Julian's house was, or whether his thoughts were on me as mine were on him. Even though it had been less than three days since I'd seen him, I couldn't picture him the way he had been that night, his body pressed close to mine. My heart sank at the thought that this might be all I would have to hold on to.

Then there was a sharp knock at my door, enough to dislodge my thoughts, and my dad came in. I had no doubt in my mind that he had heard my thoughts, and mentally apologized. His smirk seemed false, forced, but it was there and I couldn't help but smile back. The fact that he wasn't screaming at me was a good sign.

"So" he said, in that same false calm, "we're all waiting downstairs"

"Downstairs?" my heart thumped loudly.

"Haven't you had enough seclusion?" he asked in explanation, "we're going to school"

Before he had even finished the word 'school' I had leapt into his arms, laughing a little at how worried I had been for this day. I knew he was still angry, he had to be, but he was letting me go to school, without complaint. I dropped out of his hold and on to the floor, practically throwing myself down the stairs in my hurry.

My mother hadn't stopped smiling at my expression even as we pulled into the parking lot, but my dad's which had held a smirk, turned dark as we encountered the on slot of the student body. His hands gripped tight against the steering wheel and didn't even relax as mom touched his skin. I could hear mom's breath come a little quicker, and couldn't help but be nervous in response.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing" his answer came too quickly.

"Edward, she's going to find out" mom obviously knew what was going on and I wondered vaguely whether they had had some too quite conversation.

He sighed heavily before turning to look at me, "they're remembering Friday night…vividly"

I blushed a little and reached for the handle of the door. I let it hover above it for a few seconds, preparing myself for the sea of gossip I was undoubtedly about to throw myself into. I wondered if Julian was enduring the same torture, if he blamed me for what people were saying. I couldn't think about that, not if I wanted to gain enough strength to go out there. With one last deep breath I left the safety of the car. My parents were behind me soon enough, mom giving me a quick but reassuring hug before heading to the building. I was sure that my dad would have given me some sign of caring if he hadn't been preoccupied by the thoughts around him. I was sure I didn't want to know the details, and was hit with a twinge of guilt for making him have to go through it.

Mel caught up with me just as I made it inside, my eyes searching for one person, and it seemed they were the only person they couldn't find. I barely paid attention as she told me how embarrassed she was for me,

"If my brother came in there like that…anyway, yeah, think of it this way, you know he likes you-"

I couldn't stop myself from correcting, "he loves me"

"oookay, whatever you say, you two had all of what three conversations, less?"

Anger flared in me and I snapped at her, "you don't know him, he loves me!"

She didn't flinch, "Hey, like I said, whatever you say"

She was about to continue with her banter when I saw him. His eyes lingered at my locker before he turned back to his friends, as animated as ever. I apologized to Mel before crossing over to him so swiftly that I barely remembered making the decision to move.

"Hey" I said, a little breathlessly.

"Glad to see you're not a prisoner"

"I came close"

"Sorry about that"

"I'm not" I said quickly.

He seemed taken aback, "I would think that being dragged out half naked in front of half the school would have changed your opinion"

"Thanks for bringing that up" I said sarcastically

"Thought you might have forgotten" he laughed.

"Not likely, but I said I was sure, and that doesn't change very easily"

"So if I kissed you right now…?"

"We'd probably get a lot of stares, and I don't quite trust my brothers self-"

Before I could finish his lips were pressed against mine, and I forgot all the arguments that had formed in my head.


	12. Daring

I was the one that broke the kiss. There were just too many eyes on us, too many whispers in our direction. Julian didn't seem to mind though; his hand ran up and down my arm easily, without even a second thought. Then his face brightened, as though a plan had just formed in his head.

"You're brother's not here is he?" he whispered.

My eyes darted quickly around the hall. I doubted my mother and father would linger with the students unless they were watching me, but they were easy to spot, and it was obvious they weren't near us. I shook my head.

"Come with me" and before I had time to ask what he was up to he had sprinted to the doors and was holding one open for me. I hesitated for a split second. If my family found out I would risk the little acceptance I had gained. But if I was careful not to tell anyone where I was going, if Mel was distracted enough not to be paying attention to me… I caught up with him and he led me out into the parking lot I had just come from. He had a triumphant smile glued onto his face.

"Do I get to know what we're doing?"

"You don't like surprises?"

"Not particularly"

"Humor me"

"How do I know you're not taking me to some cave somewhere so you can take advantage of me?" I mocked.

"Me, take advantage of you? Not likely, I'm the one who should be afraid"

"Sir, you overestimate me"

"Or you just don't know how strong you are"

"I don't think so" I mumbled, but he just smirked. I hadn't realized that we had come to a stop, but now we were standing in front of a car. It was typical, not flashy but not particularly old either, maybe three or four years. He held the door open for me.

"What?" he asked when I didn't move, "you've never ditched school?"

"Never had anyone to skip with"

"At your service" he said simply, beckoning for me to climb in.

"You're just the picture of good moral structure aren't you?" my tone was thick with sarcasm

"I'm hurt; my mother thinks I'm the poster boy for morality"

"Is your mother a convict?"

"Maybe, I have secrets Nessie" he looked on the verge of laughter. I gave in and sat down in the passenger side of his car.

"They say people who keep secrets can see secrets in others" I said as he started the engine.

"Do they?"

"Maybe not, but we can test the theory"

"On you?" I nodded. He looked at me for a second before turning his gaze back to the road, "I don't think your family's as simple as you make them out to be"

I was careful to keep my tone calm, "what'd you mean?"

"The other night, I could have sworn you called you're brother…dad"

I laughed and hoped that it didn't sound as nervous as I suddenly felt, "You expected me to be thinking clearly? He had you up against the wall"

"I guess not, is you're dad around?"

"Why would you ask that?"

"Well, correct me if I'm wrong, but it's usually the father's job to come in and rescue the poor unsuspecting daughter from a hooligan like myself"

"My brother, Edward, he kind of feels like he has to look after me. We were adopted and the family's the best, but I think he kind of feels like he should be the one to protect me"

"Sorry"

"For what?"

"You're parents, I mean losing both of them…"

"I don't even remember, another lifetime. Starting fresh ya know"

"And that's where I come in?"

"If you're up for it, I have secrets too"

"I thrive on secrets"

"You say that now…"

"I said I was up for it, that doesn't change very easily" he quoted.

It was then that I realized we had pulled into a driveway. We were in front of a house where I would almost certainly find myself alone with Julian again. A part of me wanted to be sensible, and the other part, a very large part, wanted to run to the door. Of course that part won out.

**A/N: Oooh the horrors. Please review**


	13. Coming down from cloud 9

**A/N: Since I seem to enjoy depressing stories, this was a fun chapter to write. I'll let you formulate your own opinions for now. PLEASE REVIEW!!**

I opened my eyes after what seemed like only minutes, it might have been. The light in the room hadn't changed, but I thought it was colder now. It made sense, our somewhat frantic ascent up to it would have made anyone warm, not to mention that we were so intent on each other it could have been Antarctica and we would have been comfortable. My eyelids were heavy, but I looked around anyway. One hand trailed across Julian's stomach absently while the other swiped away some displaced hair away from my eyes. He breathed softly, but I could tell he was awake and I hovered slightly over him, letting my lips come dangerously close to his before whispering,

"Hey"

"I'm glad you're up" he mumbled.

I laid my chin against his chest, "were you waiting long?"

He shrugged, his eyes still didn't open, but his fingers ran through my hair. I sighed and smiled letting my eyes close again, "I love you"

Something changed, his breathing stuttered before almost stopping completely, and his hand fell away from my hair, "what?"

I was confused. I sat up a little, repeating the words I had spoken, "I love you"

His gaze locked on mine as if looking for some hidden joke, "How?"

"I don't understand"

"You don't know me, we haven't even had a real conversation, how could you love me?"

It wouldn't sink in, he was saying these things, but they didn't make sense, "I thought…the other night…"

"The other night you didn't even know my name"

"But we just…"

"Yeah Ness, and I really like you, but I don't know you well enough to _love_ you, I don't know anyone well enough to love them"

I scrambled up out of the bed, searching through the clothes strewn across the floor. I barely saw them. My vision was blurred and I felt cold seeping in from every direction that had nothing to do with the temperature. I couldn't even tell if I put my things on backwards but I stumbled backward, fumbling for the door.

"Ness, C'mon, we could go on a couple dates, hang out, who knows? Maybe we could love each other."

"I already love you" the whisper was hoarse.

"Trust me, if I had known that I never would have done what I just did, but it's not the end of the world"

"It's not is it? Hey, did you just pick me out at random, or did you have a bet with your friends huh? Who could screw the new girl?"

"I'm not like that Ness, why would I do that to you?"

"Why would you do a lot of things? And stop calling me Ness, stop talking to me!"

I managed to get the door open and threw myself down the stairs and out the front door. I could vaguely hear him coming after me and picked up the pace until I was down the street and took out my cell phone.

_(BPOV)_

I was just as nervous as he was now. Reneesme hadn't come to the car or answered her cell phone, and as it got closer and closer to the hour mark my thoughts became more frantic. I was immensely glad that Edward couldn't read them; he was worried enough as it was. We had no idea when she had left, how long she had been gone from school, and I didn't want to think about how much could happen to her in that time. I couldn't help but blame myself. I was the one that had convinced Edward to let her go back to school, told him that she knew enough not to make the same mistake twice, and now I knew that I was wrong. I was sure Edward didn't blame me; he could find a way to blame himself for anything.

I leaned back against the Volvo though I really didn't need to steady myself. We hadn't moved from the parking lot just in case she came back, but now I was beginning to doubt that. What if she didn't come because she was afraid of what we would do? I closed my eyes and could feel Edward's arm holding me against him. I understood it was a reflex reaction. He was too far away to do anything consciously. I thanked him for it anyway. At least he was something stable to hold onto, something I knew would never go away no matter what happened.

"I'm sorry" I whispered, more to myself than to him.

"You have nothing to apologize for"

I bit my lip against the contradiction to his words, "Did I make a mistake?"

He turned his gaze to me, "with what?"

"Raising her, did I do something wrong?"

"No love, this isn't your fault"

"Then whose is it? And don't you dare say yours"

"Who do you want me to blame Bella?"

Just as he said the words my phone rang, and if it were possible my heart would have leapt. "Hello?"

"_Mommy?"_ and then all I could hear were sobs.

**A/N: Oh how mean I am.... ah well. Tell me what you think**


	14. Fixing what's broken

**A/N: This is my last chapter of the 2008 year! Happy holidays.**

_(BPOV)_

"Nessie, what's wrong? What happened?" I looked over at Edward who held me tighter against him.

"_Could you come and get me?" _she gasped between sobs.

"Of course, where are you?"

"_Mom, please don't bring Daddy, please"_

I felt Edward stiffen next to me, but knew that I had to say yes. He wouldn't like it, but if it would get Reneesme home I didn't seen how either of us could argue. As soon as I had assured her that I would come alone and she gave me directions I hung up the phone and directed my attention to Edward. I took his hand and squeezed it, hoping that he wouldn't be too hurt by the fact that he was excluded.

"I'll be back soon" I whispered, getting in the car and then added, "She'll be okay"

He nodded, "and so will you"

I sped away from the school and in the direction where she told me she would be. On the way my mind ran through the possibilities of what could have happened. She had sounded so heartbroken, bringing back a vague memory of a dark time I often wished I couldn't remember. Whatever it was, she had called me, and I would help her through it, I would help her figure it out.

_(RPOV)_

I sat down on the grass a safe distance away from his house and tried to get a hold of what I was feeling. Anger definitely flared within me, but it was more than that, disappointment. The nagging feeling in my head was that what had happened wasn't Julian's fault. It had been my stupid mistake to think that he loved me, to assume… he couldn't help what he felt. And then there was the deep aching cold that kept creeping up, that overshadowed all else. It made me want to cry and never come up for air, to stop where I was and just wait there until the whole world went away. Had anyone felt this way before?

I had to blame him, because if I didn't the cold would be too much. At least the anger was warm, something to cling to when the rest of the world didn't make any sense anymore. Fury would always make sense though, and if nothing else could comfort me, that at least would be something. My fingers picked absently at the blades of grass beneath me, not seeing them, not feeling them. I registered vaguely that it was raining, but I didn't feel much of that either, just the cold struggling with the anger.

I wasn't used to this, the most dominant emotion in my life up until this point had been love. Ridiculously, head over heals, soul mate love, but maybe that didn't exist with normal people, or maybe just not with me. Maybe I was only meant to have the love of my family, but that couldn't be. I had known when I saw him, known what I felt. If I couldn't feel that again…

I put my hands over my eyes, pressing my palms hard against them. I was still like that when I heard my mom pull up. Her door swung open and then I was in her arms. She was kneeling in front of me, pressing my head into her shoulder and already trying to soothe me. So typical of her, she didn't even know what was wrong yet, and she was already trying to fix it. She led me to the car, away from the assault of raindrops, but I still didn't speak. She got into the drivers side and looked at me for a long time, her fingers combing through my hair and her eyes scorching with concern.

"Mom" I started, and paused, wondering what to say. The specifics weren't important, only one bit of information mattered to me, "he didn't love me" my voice broke, and then I was crying again.

She took me in her arms again without a word. It took a while for me to stop, but she seemed to sense that I didn't want to stay there anymore, and started to drive. I watched as the scene faded away, a place I never wanted to come to again. I felt Mom's hand on mine, but didn't look over at her. I knew she would have that sympathetic look in her eye, and I didn't think I could stand it. Still, I felt the need to explain myself.

"I slept with him Mom" I said it so quietly that I was sure no normal person would be able to hear, but of course she could. "And then he said he didn't love me"

Her grip tightened a little on my arm, but otherwise she made no other acknowledgements. I was glad; I wasn't sure what anything could be said to make this better, not even by my mom. She was better at that than the rest of my family, soothing without using words. Sometimes things were better left that way. I knew that too soon though I would have to deal with the rest of them, their eyes that never rested.

_(BPOV)_

_  
_I drove around for a while, letting her fall asleep before we came to the house. I knew that an explanation was the last thing she wanted to go through, she had enough guilt for the day. The apologies could come later. There was no point in pushing the subject now, no way to turn back the clock.

It was getting dark by the time I pulled into the driveway. The clouds were mostly gone, and only a light mist fell around us. All the same I pulled my jacket around her before carrying her inside. She didn't fit there as well as she used to, but she was still light in my arms. The door was unlocked. I opened it with my shoulder and was immediately met by my family, first and foremost Edward. I shifted Reneesme in my arms and put a finger to my lips. Edward followed me to her room, but didn't speak until I had closed the door.

"Is she alright?"

"Physically yes, emotionally I think she'll take some time"

"What happened? Her thoughts are so…" he trailed off listening to them.

I took a deep breath, knowing I couldn't keep it from him forever, "she slept with Julian"

He stopped breathing.

**A/N: Please please please review!!! Thanks so much for reading and have a great new year.**


	15. Time changes

**A/N: I know this chapter will be unfullfilling for some, but I happen to like Julian and I couldnt very well have him die at the hands of Edward. Maybe you dont understand why I like him, but you should understand that I never really intended him to be, for lack of a better term, an ass. I tried to make this clear by his reaction when Renesmee (by the way, U do realize that I have spelled her name wrong, but it was already written and I wasnt going to fix it...sorry if it annoyed you) said she loved him. He still wanted to work it out, but he's a teenage boy, and how was he going to react? In any case, here's the first chapter of 2009:**

_(BPOV)_

"What?" he hissed through his teeth, and I sighed.

"She had sex with him Edward"

He cringed at the word applied to his daughter, "Where is he?"

"It's not all his fault Edward, it was her idea too"

"Then why is she so upset?" he asked skeptically.

"He said he didn't love her" I groaned inwardly, anticipating the snap.

"When did he tell her?" he asked unexpectedly.

"After of course, does it matter?"

"If it would have changed her decision yes, where is he?"

"Edward he's just a boy"

"Not when he makes decisions like that"

I put my hand on his arm, "that reasoning might make you feel better now, but not when he's dead Edward, he'll look like a child then, when it's too late"

"He hurt her Bella, why can't you see that?"

"She hurt herself, the way teenage girls do when they make stupid mistakes"

"She's _not_ a teenage girl" he spat.

"But she is, and we made the mistake of not treating her like one soon enough"

"Soon enough? Bella, she's barely seven years old"

"But we knew it would be like this"

"Did you? Did you anticipate this moment; I would have appreciated a little warning"

"Oh no you wouldn't have, you would have killed half the boys on the planet if I had told you"

He couldn't deny it, but he didn't seem any calmer either. He looked poised to run, though in what direction I didn't know.

I did know that for Julian's sake we couldn't stay there, not while Reneesme was so hurt by him. As long as she bore some hatred for him Edward wouldn't hesitate in killing him, and I wasn't going to let either of them have that on their conscience. He would never forgive himself.

"Where _is_ he Bella?"

"_His_ name is Julian, and I would assume he was home"

"You think he deserves to be called by his name?" he asked, incredulous.

I changed tact, "Edward do you remember before we were married?"

"Of course Bella, I remember every moment with you" he answered, momentarily distracted by his need to assure me of our love.

"And since you remember so well, do you happen to recall what I wanted more than anything else in the world?"

His face grew dark, "that was different"

"How?"

"It was _us_ Bella, we were meant to be together"

"And this is them Edward, maybe if we give them time they will be too"

"And what if they're not?"

"Then she moves on, she finds someone else and maybe someone after that"

"You expect me to watch her get hurt like that?"

"Yes." I said simply, "Not everyone can be like us; they don't always get lucky on the first try"

"You want me to let him go?" his tone was skeptical.

"I _expect_ you to"

"I can't do that Bella"

"You have to, and whether that means moving away or dropping out of the school, you will"

"How can you be so calm?"

"Because one day she'll forget how much she hates him right now, and I want him alive when she does"

"Severe injury?" he asked hopefully, but I knew I had one.

"I'll think about it" I joked.

**A/N: Please don't hate me! It gets interesting again I promise...I promise!**


	16. Leaving

**A/N: Sorry it took so long. Hope you like it. Please review.**

I hadn't moved much in the two days since the incident with Julian, only leaving my room when I had absolutely no other option. I didn't like the stares that came, or that the talking stopped whenever they heard me move. My dad had come in once, but I couldn't bring myself to look at him, to see in his eyes what he really thought of me. He told me that he loved me, that he wasn't mad…at me. All the same I had asked him not to come back. I didn't know how long that would last; my father wasn't the type to take orders very easily. Both of my Aunts had made a trip to my room, and even my grandmother on one occasion, but they quickly understood that I wasn't in the mood for conversation.

My phone rang for what must have been the hundredth time, but I didn't bother to check who it was anymore. Julian had been calling nonstop since my escape from his house, but the one time I did pick up I made sure to keep silent. I got the gist from what he said; he was so sorry, he never meant to hurt me, words that stung me more than if he hadn't bothered to call at all, because I believed them, and it only deepened my knowledge that what had happened was because of my own stupidity. Still, I couldn't help but listening to the message he left.

"_Ness, this is crazy. You may not believe me, and I get it if you don't, but knowing I hurt you, it hurt's me. Ya know why it's so insane? Because I think about you all the time, and I can't stop Ness, I don't want to either. Just call me back…please. Who am I kidding? You're not going to listen to me, why would you?" _

And that's where the message ended. I wanted to believe it, but I couldn't make myself. He didn't love me, end of story. It should have been the end of us, the end of his thinking about me, the end of me caring if he did or not, but it wasn't. I loved that he hadn't forgotten, that he was still trying to apologize. It made me smile a little just thinking about it, but I had to stop. It wasn't healthy to enjoy this, I should move on with my life, never say his name again, that was harder then it sounded.

There was a knock at the door and I dropped the phone to bury my head in the pillow. Of course the façade wouldn't matter much if it was my dad, since he would have read my thoughts before ever trying to come in. But it was my mom, with that sympathetic smile on her face that hadn't moved since I had told her about what happened. She sat down on the edge of my bed and smoothed out my hair.

"Nessie" she said softly, "we've been talking about something a lot lately, but I want to ask you before we make any decisions" she waited for some sign that I had heard before continuing, "we're thinking about moving, we could start you at a new school, you could have a fresh start, we could forget…everything, but only if you want alright?"

"I do" I mumbled into the fabric. More than anything I wanted to forget Julian, what I had done.

"Okay" she said simply, kissing the top of my head before leaving the room.

Then the packing began.

I threw myself into putting away what had once been the start of my new life. It took less time than I had expected, probably due to the super human speed of most of the household. In a matter of days we were ready to leave. The calls from Julian were getting worse though, more pleading, and the thought of leaving him without a word killed me, but what option did I have? On the day that we were supposed to move I listened to another message.

"_Okay Nessie, I get it, I'm an ass, but could you at least pick up the phone and let me know you're alright…I'll take that as a 'no'. We can work this out Ness, I know we can. I was never just going to let you go. I didn't do what I did to lose you. We can take it slow, like I said no need to rush into things. I'm just not one of those guys ya know? The ones that believe in love at first sight, but hey, who knows? I'm open. I just need you to answer the phone Ness, because if anything happened to you because of me… If you never wanna talk to me again…just, I wanna know that you're okay."_

I slammed the phone shut as soon as it ended. I would have to get a new phone wherever I was going. I put it down on the floor, making a mental note to leave it behind. I grabbed the one box left and headed down the stairs. Before I could even make it down the second step Uncle Emmett grabbed the box.

"Ready to go kiddo?" he asked, ruffling my hair like he always did.

"Everything's packed" I avoided the question.

I followed him down into the living room where the rest of the family was waiting. They stood by the door as if waiting for some signal that it was okay to go, as if someone would rethink the decision at any moment, but I had already made up my mind.

"What's the hold up people?" I plastered a smile on my face.

"Someone's left something for you" Aunt Alice said, but she didn't look happy about the news. Dad let out a low growl, "what?" she asked innocently, "Isn't it better that she knows?"

"Knows what?" I was suspicious now.

She held the door open for me in answer and I stepped out onto the front porch. There, right below my feet was a bouquet of red roses. I didn't have to read the card attached to know who it was from, and with trembling fingers I picked them up. They were perfect, each petal so beautifully shaped, the color so rich, so vivid. I felt like I was holding something vital to my existence, like the flowers were my heart reincarnated.

The tears sprang to my eyes despite my attempts to control them, and my breath came a little sharper. I needed to control this, my family didn't need this. I had thought I had stopped this, come to my senses. I had, I needed to. With my hands still quaking I laid the flowers back on the porch and walked silently to the car.

_(JPOV)_

I sat in my car just in view of her house. I knew it was kind of stalker-ish, but I couldn't stop myself. I hadn't seen Nessa since that day, and no one had seen her at school. I came to the conclusion that I was only looking out for her. If I saw that she was okay, there was no need for the very incessant phone calls. She probably thought I was crazy, or gay…or both. I didn't really care. I was half convinced she hadn't really existed at all, that I'd had some crazy dream and would wake up a lot more sane than I was now.

Then I saw her. She was beautiful as ever as she picked up the gift I had gotten her. I hoped she liked them, didn't think the blood red color was weird. I could just make out the slight frown on her face and my heart sank. She put the flowers down and walked to the car. She was leaving, and from the looks of it she was going for good.

With a sudden frantic feeling that made no sense to me what so ever I got out my phone and tried to call her, but there was no answer.


	17. Hope lost

**A/N: Sorry it took so long. My computer was messed up a while back and erased all my documents. So then I tried to scan it, and the scanner wouldn't work, so I had to type it from a copy I gave my friend. Anywho, please review!**

For the second time in less than a month, I found myself sitting in the back of the Volvo, heading for a new chapter in my life. I was sprawled across the backseat, my eyes raised to the window as I looked out at the trees and houses that went by in a haze of shape and color. I was trying to get rid of the image of the roses in my hand, the symbol that he really did care. Mom and Dad were talking, but I wasn't paying attention to the words, only the steady rumble of the engine as I sped down the road and the musical tone of their voices.

And then something caught my eye. It should have meant nothing, just a nondescript car following a little behind us, but there familiar about the way it looked underneath the cloudy sky, and then my eyes fell to the driver's seat. His dark eyes were concentrated on the road, his hair partly covering them. It couldn't be, and yet it was.

"Stop the car!" I nearly screamed, and Dad looked back quickly. "Don't you know who that is? Tell me what he's thinking Daddy, or stop the car and let me figure it out for myself"

"Nessie, think about what you're asking. I thought you were starting over"

"Daddy, if he cares about me enough to follow us then it proves he deserves another chance"

"No, it only proves that he's a stalker"

"Edward, we're right here, what harm could it do?" Mom chimed in.

"We're talking about stopping the car in the middle of the highway"

"No," she corrected, "Im _asking_ you to pull over on the side of the road"

"Mom can I have your phone?" she had already dialed the number she had memorized from the called I.D. before handing it to me.

I saw him pick up after the second ring, "hello?" he sounded distracted.

"Julian" I couldn't held the smile that spread across my face at the sound of his voice.

"Nessa" he sounded relieved, "I'm driving like a million miles over the speed limit here, man your brother drives fast"

"I know, I'm sorry" I heard Mom laugh but didn't look over, concentrating on the movement of Julian's lips as he spoke.

"Anyway, not the point, don't go anywhere. If you do I'll have to wonder what would have happened if I did fall in love with you. I want to fall in love with you Nessa"

"You're on the right track"

"Really? I thought maybe the flowers might be a little bit much, and the phone calls, I'm sorry about them"

"No, I thought they were sweet"

"Oh, well you could have picked up the phone and saved me the embarrassment"

"That wouldn't have been fun"

"Oh yeah" he said sarcastically, "I'm having the time of my life over here"

"I like this, it's like you're my prince coming to rescue me"

"I feel like the frog...or the axe man of course"

"I always thought they deserved another shot"

"I never painted you as the kind to like a murderer"

"Only if the murderer in question had the right motives"

"I swear I did, I still do" he said sincerely.

"So you haven't changed your mind now that we've led you on a high speed chase?"

"Never, don't you know I street race in my spare time?"

"Another one of those secrets?" I supressed a laugh

"Yeah, Im an axe murdering street racer"

"Just my kind of man"

"Now that I've shares some secrets, why don't you spill some?"

"I desperately wan my brother to pull this car over" I offered

"that makes two of us"

"and I never stopped thinking about you"

I pressed my palm against the window and held it there, hoping he would see. My heat was beating so loudly that I could barely hear my mom reasoning with Dad, and then his final agreement.

"Julian we're pulling over" I said as the car slid fluidly to the side.

"Thank God, I'm a really slow street racer ya know"

"Imagine that"

The car slowed and I opened the door, flinging myself onto the grass just as his car turned slightly to join us, and then came the deafening bang that ended all my hopes in an instant...

**A/N: Le gasp, what will happen?! Dont hate me... but as you dont yet know the outcome...**


	18. Finding hope again

**A/N: So there we go, a new chapter. Nothing else to say, except...review.**

_"Julian!" _I shrieked so that it mingled with the sound of the squealing tires as they edged their way closer. The car hit his and sped off in the opposite direction, but I didn't care about that. I saw the glass break, saw the splatter of blood against the windshield. I tried to run to him, but there were hands restraining me, my mother's I guessed.

"Daddy save him!" I cried, still struggling against the hold my mom had formed, "You have to save him!" I kicked against my captor, not having time to feel bad about who exactly I was attempting to hurt.

My dad was already there of course, pulling against the cage of metal that had formed around Julian's body. No, I couldn't think of it that way. Julian was alive, he had to be. His hands ripped across the car as if it were nothing but paper, and then his hand grasped Julian's shoulder and pulled him out onto the grass. My mother let me go them and I wouldn't let myself wonder why, wouldn't let myself assume that she was letting me say goodbye. My feet seemed unsteady now that I could actually reach him. Soon though I was close enough that I could kneel in front of him, my hands holding to the side of his face.

He looked oddly broken, his blood staining the grass around us. I didn't let myself look at that for too long though, instead my gaze locked to his face. He was still jyst as beautiful, if worn. The backs of my fingers trailed across his eyelids. Without thinking I touched my lips to his, my tears falling unbidden onto the bridge of his nose. All too soon I was being wrenched away from him, but this time it was my father who held me as grandpa worked confidently over Julian.

"You need to breathe Nessie" he whispered into my ear, but I wouldn't listen, I wasn't going to breathe until Julian did. "Renesmee listen to me" he spun around to face him and held me at arms length, "Julian might not live, but you can, you have to" I had a feeling he wouldn't have to plead with me much longer. Everything around me was getting fuzzy and I could feel reality slipping away. I barely registered my mothers scream of my name before everything was lost...

----

My eyes weren't closed but they weren't open either, in fact I might not have existed at all.. It was silent all around me, a stark contrast to what I had left behind. It felt nice. I didn't want to have to try to figure out the chaos, it was easier to float. Now that I strained I could hear a distant thump in the background, but I had no way of getting to it, no way of moving without a body. I was sure I didn't have one, there were no fingers to stretch out, no hair to move out of the line of vision. There was nothing to see at all, only the blackness that somehow managed to be neither hot nor cold.

I vaguely registered that I should care that I should miss something, but I couldn't think of anything to miss. The more memories I looked for, the less I found. There was only a pair of eyes; dark, black eyes. Even those were faded though,, seeping into the surroundings as if they were part of the atmosphere around me.

The thumping was getting worse, until I wanted to block out the sound. It hurt; the steady pulsing ran through what had become my world like lightning. It was faster though, a constant, droning, flutter that I could almost feel deep within me...chest. Now that I thought the word I could see it, materialized beneath me. I wanted to touch it, to make sure it was real, and then came my fingers, with a trail of blood across them that couldn't have been mine.

I could smell the liquid too, a smell that seemed to conjure with it a face. The same face I knew, that belonged to those dark eyes. There were others too, more people whose faces I could now see. I knew them instantly; my friend Mel, my aunts and uncles, grandparents, and then my parents. They were the most agonized of the group, and as I reached my hand out to touch against their faces, my senses came back.

I gasped as I felt the leather of the couch beneath me, could smell the sweetness that I knew to belong to my house, but it was mingled with blood, faint, but still thick in the air. I sat up, feeling my lungs heaving in my chest, the pulse deep within my veins. And then there were arms around me, pulling me to them. I heard someone suck in a deep breath as if they had been holding it for a long time, a time that no human (or half human it seemed) would be able to stand.

I focused on my mother, whose eyes were swimming with emotion, "Renesmee," she scolded, "next time your father tells you to breathe you better listen"

"I'm sorry Daddy" I whispered, but before I could even finish he had pulled me into a hug that seemed to release all the tension he must have been feeling.

"You can't leave us" he sad as he pulled away, "you're too important"

"You're my family, I would never leave you"

"Hate to break it to you Ness," Uncle Emmett said, "but not breathing is a pretty sure fire way way to do that"

"It's not aomething I'm likely to try again"

"I bet you get a kick out of the fact that you just about gave us all a heart attack"

"Heart attack?, doesn't that usually require a beating heart"

He shrugged, "technicalities"

My eyes were still searching the little crowd that had gathered. I had said that I wouldn't leave my family behind,but what if someone important left me instead. I got up from the couch cautiously.

"Where is he?" I asked.

They all exchanged glances, but I wasn't in the mood for games, or waiting for that matter.

"where _is_ he?" I backed away from them, not quite willing to hear the answer.

"Aren't you glad I added stuntman to my list of expertise?" came a voice from the dining room, "um, Ness, I think you've got some explaining to do"


	19. Nothing stays the same

**A/N: I'm soooooooooooo sorry! Please don't kill me for taking so long to update. At first I wanted to wait because this is the second to last chapter, that's right there's only one chapter after this. Anyway, it ended up taking me way longer than it should have. Well, forgive me, and R&R**

I turned slowly hardly believing my ears. Julian's voice was exactly how I remembered it, just as calm, just as mocking. My eyes took him in, but I didn't move. He was sitting slumped in the dining room chair, his head heavily bandaged. Dried blood stained his face, but his clothes were clean, new. He looked so much better than my last image of him. It was hard to believe that so much had been done in such a short time. The feeling was gone again from my legs, and all I could do was stare at Julian, not move toward him.

But then, as he smiled, it was like a wave hit me. It was all I could do to stop from hugging him and never letting go. I had to remember that no matter how good he looked, he was still hurt. I lept up onto the table next to him, but he was the one who reached out his hand and took mine. His fingers ran along the trail of blood across my skin. My lips touched lightly against the fingers until I remembered where I was and had to work to keep from blushing. At least my father wouldn't kill a hurt man...I hoped

"So how much do you know?" I asked quietly.

"Not much, but enough to realize you weren't kidding when you said you had secrets"

"It's pretty complex" I warned.

"Nothing with you is ever simple"

"You're gonna think I'm crazy"

"Nessa, I just saw your brother rip a car apart, I think I can handle it" he smiled in encouragement.

"He's not my brother" I looked over at my dad who nodded in silent agreement. Apparently my family had talked about this possibility.

"Ok, that's a good place to start"

"He's my dad"

I heard Julian gulp, "Um, Nessa, he looks like he's..."

"17" I finished patiently"

"And that would make you..."

"He's not really 17 Julian, he's a lot older actually, probably more than you think"

"How old?" his voice was wavering.

"He stopped aging in 1918" I smiled, hoping to make the information easier for him.

It didn't help much, he looked paler than he had even when he was bleeding in the grass, "And your mom?"

My mother stepped forward. At least she'd been through this, she could probably make him feel better than I could, "she's a little younger"

"How _much_ younger?" his tone was cautious.

"She stopped aging as soon as I was born"

"when?" he choked out, and I braced for the impact.

"Technically...seven years ago" I waited until he took a breath to continue, "but emotionally and physically I'm a lot older...obviously"

"_Obviously_" he gasped, the word sounded more like a breath.

"Julian, don't think of me as being that young"

"Wouldn't dream of it" it was a weak attempt at sarcasm.

"I'm a teenager, just like you"

"Uhuh, um Ness, I know it's rude to ask a woman about her age, but how long is this-" he motioned to me, "aging thing gonna last? I mean fast like it is now"

"I'm done" I assured him.

"what do you mean _done?_"

"I mean, I'll be like this forever, well at least for 150 years or so..."

I looked at him, but his stare was blank. It didn't seem like he could take in any more information. I didn't know why, but for some reason, seeing him like that, so confused, so completely lost, made tears spring to my eyes. With trembling hands I pushed myself up from the table and set down on the floor. Just as slowly I made my way up the stairs to my bedroom. My bed was back in its place as if it had never been touched and I sat down on the side of it. My life had never been what anyone would call normal, but there had always been something stable about it, a stability that was definitely gone now.

My mother and father were forced to look at me differently now, all my family, and the one chance I had had to be typical, Julian, he was changed too. I wasn't the same person I had been such a short time ago, the sheltered girl, the one who had never been hurt, but if I wasn't her, who was I?

I laid back against my bedspread, letting my hair fan out in every direction. I wasn't sure how long I had been asleep, but a light knock at the door woke me up. I blinked a few times before calling for whoever it was to come in. I didn't bother to look in the direction of the door. I would wait for them to talk before I did. but after a few moments of silence my gaze drifted over.

Julian stood at the side of the bed, an apologetic smile on his face, "looking this good at 150 can't be that bad" he sat down on the edge and his hand touched against the curls of my hair.

"Really?" silent tears of relief slipped down my cheek, and he brushed them away carefully.

"The more time I can spend with you the better"

"You'll be bored of me soon enough"

"I don't think I'll ever be able to figure you out"

"It's a good thing I'm complicated"

"You wouldn't be you if you weren't"

"I don't even know who I am" I confessed.

"We'll figure it out, we've got time"


End file.
